this girl ripped her galaxy leggings today and i couldnt stop laughing because there was a rip in the fabric of space
today in class this guy stole my paper and i just randomly shouted “I WILL EAT YOUR CHILDREN” and he said “Do they have to be born?” and i just sat down because that was a hella good comeback
WHY ARE YOU GUYS NOT SCREAMING I TRIED TO THREATEN THIS GUY AND HE TURNED IT INTO A BLOW JOB REFERENCE YOU GUYS BETTER BE FUCKING LAUGHINGUm, we were. It was a great cumback
OH. MY. GOD. I SNORTED
why do people get so mad about puns? they’re literally the nicest kind of humor. they make nobody feel bad. it’s just clever. sometimes it’s original. learn to like puns. don’t let society run your life
Some may not admit it, but 99% of the anger people experience after a good pun comes from the fact that they didn’t think of it first.
if anyone ever tells you to man up, just knock them unconscious and as they lie motionless of the ground, lean over them and whisper
What I look for in a girl:
- Water, 35 litres
- Carbon, 20 kilograms
- Ammonia, 4 litres
- Lime, 1.5 kilograms
- Phosphorus, 800 grams
- Salt, 250 grams
- Saltpeter, 100 grams
- Sulfur, 80 grams
- Fluorine, 7.5 grams
- Iron, 5 grams
- Silicon, 3 grams
- Trace amounts of 15 other elements
I dunno, I still think your standards are too high.
A woman like that is gonna cost you an arm and a leg.